Life and Death, a Reflection...

Hello again, dear readers.


For those of you who know me off this blog, you already know. On Monday, April 11th, my mother died.  She had been suffering for a long time from a disease that took her from us piece by piece. It was not Alzheimer's, but something called White Matter Disease coupled with microvascular disease and hardening of the arteries. For more than eight years, I watched as my mother became more paranoid, lost her eyesight and mobility and her memory.  By the time everything ended, Mom hadn't been able to speak for almost a year and couldn't let us know her thoughts or feelings.


It's been four days since my mother's soul moved on from this world and I can't quite make sense of it all.  I'm planning to go to counseling for a while because I need to be sure I make peace with what's happened. I know that there was nothing anyone ultimately could have done to prevent this from happening, but I wish I still had my mom, happy and healthy.

A break from the spiritual: A possible definition of "Frozen's" Elsa

Hello again, dear readers!


I am taking a break from the spiritual journey posts to talk about a flash of insight I had regarding "Let It Go," the song from Disney's Frozen.
Elsa's journey has been considered like coming out in the gay community. However, I can offer another possible meaning. Throughout history, women have been pushing their emotions and opinions down within themselves in order to fit in, deal with other people and even deal with the chaos around them. I realized how often I did that and also saw that even while singing in triumph, Elsa was still running away from what was.
The King and Queen were, out of love, attempting to protect their elder daughter, as parents do when they want to help their child fit in and be good. But as sometimes happens in real life, that backfired.  Elsa pulled in to the point that she shut out everyone, including her parents and her little sister. And when her parents died, Elsa felt like she had to keep the secret of her gifts, having been trained to see them as a curse. Only when she was truly honest with her sister and embraced something that she really loved to do was Elsa truly free.

Spiritual Journey Part XI: Thanksgiving

Hello again, viewers. It's been several months since I posted to this blog and considering the holiday I'm about to celebrate, I'd like to talk about giving thanks.
There are things, big and small, that we can be thankful for. I won't go into too much, but I am very thankful for many things this year.  Be thankful when you find the good.

Spiritual Journey X: Shared Pain

Hello again, everyone. While watching the Oscars on Sunday night and listening to Graham Moore's admonition to "stay weird," I realized something. The key to harmony comes from understanding pain. We may not share the exact same pain, but at one time or another, we each understand what it is like to be different. We hide who we are to try and fit in only to hate ourselves. Why should we hate ourselves for who we are if it isn't hurting anyone? Why should one person hate another person for their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion or even something like a fandom they're in?
The crux of the Golden Rule is to love each other. Let's stay weird together.

Spiritual Journey Part IX: Further Thoughts on the Human Condition

Hello again, followers of my blog.


In the past months, I have been learning more about the nature of humanity's condition. We are meant to suffer and perhaps be stronger for it. I will admit that right now, I feel as if my own personal suffering is something I cannot fully understand.

The Spiritual Journey Part VIII: Depression and Anxiety

I know I'm publishing these posts fairly close together, but I felt that part eight couldn't wait.


I write this now as I'm feeling a slight panic attack. Over the past year or so, I've felt highs and lows and don't always know what to make of them. But again, what I've learned is that faith can help you, but it's not a cure-all. So what do I do when prayer, meditation and deep breathing don't help me? I go swimming if it's available. I feel at peace in the water, though I wish the chlorine smelled more pleasant. I feel the weight leave me and get myself to a point of... I wouldn't call it exhaustion, but I can call it good.
What do you do that makes you feel calm?

The Spiritual Journey Part VII: Simplicity in Faith

Hello again, dear readers.

While chatting on message boards, I've noticed that some people think faith has to be exceedingly complex. I think it's actually pretty darned simple. If you believe in God or some higher power, you don't need to be tied to all of the manmade rules. Some rules are good like treating others like you'd like to be treated.
There are some rules that shouldn't be treated as an absolute. I think it's pretty easy to recognize the rules that we all should follow and leave the rest behind.